The lovely Bridget from Bridie By The Sea nominated me to take part in The Mummy Tag, and, to be honest, it’s really quite a relief to be able to write a blog that doesn’t involve having to come up with a subject all on my own (seriously; I’m struggling lately!). So huge thanks to Bridget, and y’all should go check out her brilliant blog.
OKAY! So, here are my questions and answers:
1. Are you a Stay at Home Mum or a Working Mum?
I am a working mum. I’m contracted to work 13 hours a week as a charity shop manager (IKR? Livin’ the dream), but I often end up doing more and travelling further than I really want to. All that being said, I love my job and I have met some wonderful and fascinating people over the last six years, so it isn’t without its perks.
2. Would you have it any other way?
Honestly, no. I’m the kind of person who felt like I lost a lot of my identity when I became a mother and, although I cried profusely – on the kitchen floor, because I do love to be dramatic – the night before my first day back at work after my maternity leave with O, I was also really glad to rediscover Davina the person and find out how she fitted in with Davina the mother.
3. Do you co-sleep?
No. I sort of have done in the past, if you class passing out with a baby attached to your nipple and waking up in a puddle of milk next to a soggy newborn with a shitty nappy as co-sleeping, but it was never intentional and I don’t think I would have been comfortable with doing it regularly. I’m quite a light sleeper and I think I would have found myself waking up every five seconds in a state of blinding panic about the possibility of crushing the baby!
4. What is your one must-have item for your baby?
I’m going to apologise for this one in advance because I’m sure there will be judgement coming my way, but… it’s got to be a dummy. O is almost four now and hasn’t had a dummy since he was two. F still has his for naps and bedtime. I owe a lot to dummies. They have sometimes been the only thing that would settle my sleepy, crabby babies, and when F’s reflux was really bad, they were indispensable. And, in fact, recommended to me by his consultant.
5. How many kids do you plan on having?
I would love to have a third child, but N and I decided when F was pretty small that we couldn’t manage another one. There were myriad reasons for this, from the fact that I had a really difficult pregnancy with F to the practical concerns like the size of our home and car. And, of course, money. ‘Cause that’s always a biggie. So, when F was five months old, N had a vasectomy. And although I sometimes feel utterly bereft by the thought that we won’t be having any more babies, I know that we made the right decision for our existing family.
6. Date nights? How often do you have them?
Honestly? Never. That’s fucking terrible, isn’t it? N works awkward shifts and I’m constantly swinging from insomniac to Person Who Cannot Sleep Enough, so between us we utterly lack the energy for date nights. We almost got divorced last April and we promised to do better once that whole debacle was over, but things got a little more complicated when I went back to work and… You know what? I’m jut going to stop making excuses. We’re shite at date night
7. Your child’s favourite show?
At the moment O loves Paw Patrol, which I hate because I can’t stop singing the fucking theme song. Seriously. It plays on a loop in my head all bastard day and I find myself singing it in the shower. And F… Well, he’s not really into TV. It just doesn’t interest him that much, although Twirlywoos seemed to settle him nicely when he was younger and feeling tired and pissed off. And I quite like that theme song too.
8. Name one thing you bought before you had the baby and never ended up using?
Um… This is a tough one. I bought a lot of shit when we were expecting O, but I did end up using most of it. I think the one purchase I made that turned out to just be completely useless was a Wedgehog wedge pillow for F when he was first diagnosed with reflux. On the few occasions when I tried to use it, F just wriggled until he wasn’t on it anymore and then it was rendered utterly pointless. So I took it out of the cot after less than a week and I actually don’t even know where it is now.
9. Your child’s favourite food?
Do you want the answer that makes me sound like a good mother or the truth? Because the truth is that O loves nothing more than a cheese sandwich and F is addicted to bread sticks.
10. How many cars does your family have?
Two. I drive a Nissan Juke and N has a Ford Focus. We do not like driving each other’s cars.
11. Weight gain, before pregnancy, during, after and now?
Eurgh… I feel like everyone is going to hate me by the time I’m done with this! I really didn’t gain much weight during either of my pregnancies and I weigh less now than I did before I had children. I don’t diet and I only do two forms of exercise: 1. Running around after my boys and 2. Yoga. So I’m just lucky and now you hate me. I’m sorry.
12. Dream holiday with your kids?
I’m on it right now. As I type this I am sat in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere in Cumbria. There are red squirrels eating from the feeder outside on the decking and all I can hear right now is birds. We have lots of activities planned for the week and I am so far really enjoying doing things with my children that I did myself as a child.
13. Dream holiday without your kids?
Something cultural. N and I went to Rome for our honeymoon and it was amazing, so I think I’d probably like to go to Venice.
14. How has your life changed since having kids?
Is that a trick question? Everything has changed since I had children. I have different priorities now and I’m even more passionate about caring for the environment and preserving wildlife than I was before I had children because I want them to have the chance to experience all of the natural wonder and beauty that I did growing up.
And sleep, of course. I never fucking sleep.
15. Finish the sentence “It makes heart melt when…”
My children give me spontaneous cuddles. Or give each other spontaneous cuddles. Or do kind things for each other or someone else. Or tell me they love me. And when they first get up in the morning and they’re so happy to see me.
16. Where do you shop for your kids?
Anywhere and everywhere. I love handmade things, so F has a few lovely pieces from Caleb and Company. I also love leggings from JoJo Maman Bebe and Blade and Rose.
17. Favourite make-up and skincare products?
I try to shop cruelty-free as much as possible, being a Vegetarian, so I’m a big fan of Lush for skincare, although I can’t afford to buy their stuff on a regular basis. Sainsbury’s skincare is all BUAV approved and really nice stuff, so I use their face wipes and Miracle Cream. And I love Urban Decay for make-up
18. Huggies or Pampers?
Pampers. We’ve tried a lot of different nappies, but only Pampers seem to hold in the leaks for my boys.
19. Have you always wanted kids?
Yes. I knew from being 18 that I wanted to be a mum someday. It just seemed like I wouldn’t feel complete until I’d had children. I don’t know. It sounds really cliché, but it’s the truth.
20. Best part of being a mum?
Watching babies grow into little people has been wonderful. Seeing their personalities develop is just such a magical thing. And loving them so much is terrifying and awe-inspiring. There are some really shitty things about parenthood that no one really tells you, but it’s also a bloody amazing experience. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Thanks for sticking with me through this one!
My nominations are:
Lauren, from Loz and the Sprog